The theme of Week 5 is “Recovering a Sense of Possibility.”
Morning pages: 7/7
I am noticing that I am becoming more aware of myself and my feelings as I continue to write the morning pages each day. Some of my writing is selfish (“I want,” “I should,” “I wish,” me me me!). Some of it helps me to sort out my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I get ideas as well and write them down so I can remember them. For example, I got an idea about how to incorporate one of my 100 Things goals into [THEY FIGHT!]. Who knows if it’ll work? But it’s worth finding out!
Artist date: completed
Today I went shopping at Toys R Us and the new Marshall’s store. I got a new dress and some nail polish (I have a serious nail polish addiction!). I’ve been really focused this week on improving my appearance and feeling good about myself. So it was nice to get a new dress that’s comfy and cute. One of the exercises this week involved writing about things I don’t allow myself to do, and dressing nicely is one of the things I really haven’t allowed myself to do a lot, and lately I’ve felt kind of schlumpy (that’s a word I’ve invented… it’ll happen, just you wait) and gross. So why shouldn’t I take the time to dress nicely and wear makeup and feel pretty? So my artist’s date reflected that. I’m not sure how it helps my “artistic recovery” but I do feel better about myself, so that’s good.
Synchronicity: I’ve found (this week especially) that my friends and family seem to be really into helping me check things off my 100 Things list. My surprise birthday party was one of those things (#60). Ceris has gifted me with tap lessons this summer (#11). Art Fidler sent me an email about the Oxford Renaissance Festival, which will be in Woodstock on June 14-16 (#71). My mom also offered to pay for my business cards when I design them (#22). I’m so lucky to have such thoughtful and generous friends and family members. Please, please let me know if I can help anyone else with their bucket lists!
I also had a little temper tantrum in my morning pages on Wednesday because I couldn’t think of anything to write about. It must have helped because that night I wrote and scheduled three new blog posts, and wrote notes for two others! I also got invited to go running on Sunday with some of my sorority sisters (weather permitting — it’s been FREEZING lately, even though it’s April!), which is great because I want to get started with training for the Run for Ovarian Cancer. I’ve made it a goal to actually run the 5k this year!
Thoughts: This week I’ve really focused on my personal appearance and how I view myself. I always want to work towards improving myself and my life. I have to believe in myself and my abilities, and know that it is never too late to accomplish things!